Torn
by Alikat540
Summary: GSR! This is my 1st fanfic so please give me any advice you can! Starts in Butterflied, a take on how they got together! Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Grissom slowly edged his way into the house. Staying close to the walls to be sure no potential evidence is disturbed. He finally makes it into the bathroom, first he focuses on the blood on the walls. Than he sees her.

"Oh god, Sara!" He thinks to himself and almost says out loud. He fells his heart drop out of his chest. " Gil, stop it, its not her" He convinces himself. He start to examine the tall brunette with the sticking resemblance to Sara. His Sara. Her throat is slit and he can see the arterial spray from the act itself. He takes a deep breath and begins to make his way out to the others. As soon as he steps outside his eyes find her. " What if that had been Sara. I would have never gotten the opportunity to tell her what she means to me. Damit Gil Stop thinking about that!"

Jim approaches him " You ready for us?" Brass asks his friend. " For now no one enter this house except CSI" Grissom says his eyes never leaving Sara. Next he hands out assignments keeping Sara as far away from him as possible. He simply could not handle working side by side with her on this one. His worst fear is telling her how he really feels and those emotions are just to close to the surface.

He becomes obsessed with this case. He feels like if he gives this poor girl justice maybe he can come to terms with his decision. The truth is that Gil has always been in love with Sara from the first time he saw her walk into his class room. He often thinks of that day and how things could have been different if he would have just let her in.

After being at the house for over 16 hours Grissom feels whipped. And no closer to finding who did this to the girl. He heads back to the lab to catch up with Catherine Willows and see of she got anything off of the toe print they collected off of the bed. Turns out they did find the match but it was not there guy. After another several hours of hard work finally the doctor who killed Debbie is in custody. Grissom made sure he was in the interview room with Brass. Grissom is sure Dr Vincent Lurie is there guy. Its so obvious to him but unfortunately there isn't enough evidence to hold him. Just as the doctor and his lawyer are beginning to leave Gil's mind is racing with thoughts of Sara.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer, I don not own em, Just gonna play with them for a little while, Another short chapter please let me know what you think of the beginning!

Chapter 2

Griss had been acting weird ever since they got this case. Sara wasn't sure if he was mad at her or if he was just trying to avoid her. She knew that things have been weird ever since she had asked him to "Pin Me" a few weeks ago. That was a wonderful day for her, for a split second she had felt the full weight of Gil pressing into her. Something she never thought would have happened. At least anywhere outside of her dreams. But ever since he had exited that house he was acting like he couldn't bear to be in her presence any longer than necessary. Even when she had called him to see if he needed help he had blown her off. But when he came out after his solo walk through he looked at her as if she were going to disappear. It almost looked like he was about to cry. She didn't know how to react to this startling turn of events. So Sara just focused on her work. The one thing that had always been the distraction for her when life wasn't going her way. As if it ever did!! Her entire life felt like one disappointment after another. After all the different foster homes she got moved in an out of and all the different pigs who thought they could control her. Work was the only sanctuary she felt like she had sometimes. Especially once she moved out to Vegas. For the first time in a long time she felt as thought she had a family. Even when Gil went into one of his moods. As bad as she wanted him, she knew that he would never return any feelings beyond that of friendship. Which she was trying to come to terms with.

Although she could have sworn there was something there. Behind his intoxicating blue eyes when he came out of the house. She wanted this case to be over. She was tired of everyone commenting on the way Debbie looked just like her. So she was thankful when she heard that Griss and Brass were in the interrogation room with a suspect. That's what drove her to the interrogation room that afternoon. She had hoped to catch him when he came out and see what she could do to help him close this case. Or to just help him. The truth was Sara had hoped to be able to talk him out of this apparent aversion to her prescience.

When she entered the viewing room she was thankful she was the only one present. " Great," Sara said to herself " this will give me time to think of how to approach him." The interveiw was nearly over. Brass was doing most of the talking. Griss looked like he was about to pass out. " I wonder if he has slept at all?" Just as the Lawyer and Dr. Vincent Lurie got up to leave Grissom suddenly spoke. "It's sad, isn't it, doc? Guys like us. Couple of middle-aged men who've allowed their work to consume their lives. The only time we ever touch other people is when we're wearing our latex gloves. We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years we haven't really lived at all. But then, all of a sudden ... we get a second chance." Sara felt a knot begin to form in the pit of her stomach. " Somebody young and beautiful shows up. Somebody ... .. we could care about. She offers us a new life with her ... ...but we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her." Sara's jaw drops " Is he really saying what i think he is?" She wonders to herself. Grissom continues "I couldn't do it ... ... but you did. You risked it all ... .. and she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she? But then she took it away and gave it to somebody else, ... ... and you were lost. So you took her life. You killed them both, and now you have nothing." Sara felt as if she was going to cry. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Did Gil really have feelings for her? Was he just holding back because of the lab? The others leave the room, Grissom is sitting alone. Sara stands there watching him. He looks like he had just run threw a gauntlet. His head is hanging low and she thinks she can see one single tear run down his face. Finally he gets up and slowly moves to the door. Sara hurries to catch him.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to those of you who have read, and especially those who reviewed! Hope you like the next couple!!

Sara hurried to catch Gil. She did not know what she was going to say but she felt as thought she had to comfort him in some way.

Gil heard a second door click behind him and he turned to see Sara standing in the hallway. His had was already spinning from his lack of sleep, " Sara what are you doing here?"

He was automatically drawn to her chocolate brown eyes that always had such an effect on him. Those eyes were so beautiful and he felt a need to tell her everything.

Suddenly he realized what door she had come out of. " Oh god she heard!" He felt his stomach drop and thought he was going to pass out.

" Did you hear everything?" he asked her. His eyes on the floor unable to look at her. "Yes, I did. God Gil was all of that true?" She tried to catch his brilliant blue eyes but couldn't. " I....I....don't want to talk about this here. We need to talk to Sara but we simply cant do it here with so many prying ears"

" Ecklie would have a field day with this if he found out the truth." Gil thought to himself. " He would probably try to fire both us, as if he could." " Ok than where...." " My Townhouse after shift is done" Grissom cut her off. " I'm heading home now follow as soon as you can, I will probably be asleep so my spare key is under the mat. Let yourself in." Sara nodded ever so slightly. Grissom looked and caught her eye just for a moment. He wasn't sure what he saw there but it almost looked like hope.

" Ill see you in couple hours than." Sara said. Gris nodded and turned to leave. Sara watched him go. Her eyes wondering all over his body and lingering ever so slightly on his ass. " Sara don't you let yourself get your hopes up again, He isn't going to act on anything. In fact he will probably just shoot you down again." Sara sighed headed in to finish her shift.

The last few hours of shift dragged by for Sara. She couldn't concentrate on anything. Gris kept sneaking his way into her mind. Several times Nick Stokes asked her if she was ok? " She seems like she is totally out of it" the Texan thought to himself. " Are you sure your ok? I have had to ask you the same questions several times. You never respond."

" I'm sorry Nicky, Just tired i guess. I'm going to go get some coffee you want any?" " No Thanks" He responded with a look of sincere concern on his face. Nick made a mental note to talk to her about it after shift to be sure she is gets home safe.

The rest of shift passed without incident. Once Nick and her finished up there final analysis of a past case, she ducked out early. Telling Nick she just needed to go home and sleep. She assured him not to worry, that she would be fine. He nodded and let her go with a little reservation. " Drive Safe!" he called after her.

Sara walked out without looking back. The knot in her stomach continued to grow the closer she got to the townhouse. She didn't know what to expect but was hoping for a miracle.

She pulled into Gil's drive and slowly made her way to the front door. It was locked, he must be sleeping. She found the key under the mat like he said and opened the door.

Sara's jaw dropped she couldn't believe what she was seeing.....


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks again for all the reviews! I do appreciate them, This is where that M rating is going to come in! Disclaimer- don't own em whish I did.

Sara was in shock. The room was in completely dark except for a line of multi-colored votive candles leading away from the front door of Grissom's town house and down the stars to his dinning room.

Sara stepped in careful of the candles and closed the door. She was kicking herself for not cleaning up after work. " I could of at least stopped in at the locker room for a clean change of clothes." Sara thought to herself.

The CSI in her took over. She automatically started scanning the room looking for him. "Gil?…. Where are you at?" Sara said softly.

She could see a small plant sitting in the center of the table. It had beautiful purple and blue flowers just beginning to bud. She walked down the stars to the table to see if there was a card or any hint as to were Gris was hiding. She found a card siting in front of the plant.

" I should have done this a long time ago!

-GG

Sara smiled to herself. She wasn't sure what to think of that. Should have done what a long time ago?

Suddenly she heard him talk from across the room, " Im sorry it took me so long to realize what was right in front of my eyes."

Sara looked up suddenly. He was standing in the corner. Wearing a simple black T-shirt, jeans and was barefoot. Sara found Gris his most sexy when he seemed comfortable in his own skin, but for some reason she had never seen him look any better.

" I have so many things I want to say to you Sara." Gil Sighed and stepped closer to where Sara was standing. She was frozen in place with a look of utter shock on her face. " But I thought he didn't care." Sara thought to herself.

" From the time I met you, I knew there was something special about you Sara. I just still am unsure how I should say this to you. Sara, this case has torn me up. Its forced me to really think about my life and you…" He pulls out a chair and sinks into it. Its obvious to her that he is exhausted.

She moves around the table and sits next to him. " Gil have you slept at all?" "Ha" He laughed. " I wish, but I cant sleep until….til….i tell you." He yawns just than. She places her hand on his to try and comfort him. " You can tell me anything." She says as she feels him grip her hand and give it a loving squeeze.

He looks into her eyes and feels complete. " Sara I have made up my mind about what to do about this."

"OK?"

" I want to make this work. You and Me. I want to spend everyday I have to, to win your heart. I….." Gill Hesitates and looks as though he is going to choke over his words.

" I love you to Gil, Always have! My heart is already yours you just have to take it" She said with tears in her eyes.

Grissom looks into her eyes and sees nothing but honesty there. He leans over the table and captures her lips with his. He gently presses his lips into hers allowing him self to taste his dear sweet Sara. She pulls away slowly with a huge smile on her face.

"Is this really happening? Are we really here?" She asks looking into his eyes. "Yes honey, I never want to be anywhere else ever again." He stands and pulls Sara into a deep loving hug. Allowing him self to smell her hair.

As she pulls back she finds his lips once more. He is more urgent this time and pulls her into a deep passionate kiss. Allowing his tongue to explore all of Sara's mouth. He feels here breathing become ragged with desire. She releases a deep moan of longing.

He scoops her up in his arms, never breaking there kiss, and carries her off to his bedroom.

**I know I am mean to end it there…hehe! I will try to post tomorrow. Don't forget to leave Review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's the next chapter everyone!! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and enjoyed the story so far!! I think this story is going to be shorter than I expected, I got an idea I am really excited about starting, but I am going to try and bring this to a close 1****st****. Disclaimer: I don't own em and any mistakes are mine.**

Sara's heart skipped a beat as soon as Gil picked her up. She never thought the day would come that Gil Grissom would be kissing her…Let alone carrying her into his bed room!

Sara's tongue was stroking his with such an intensity that he couldn't help but moan in desire and passion. There kiss continued until they both needed to break apart for air. Sara began nibbling on his neck. "Oh….Sara" Gil moaned as he laid her down on his bed.

Grissom positioned himself over her and captured her lips once more. Their kiss becoming more and more passionate as the seconds passed. Sara could feel the weight of him against her. This pushed her over the edge, she started pulling at Gils black t-shirt trying to get it over his head.

She felt him pull back, " Honey, We don't have to go….um… I can slow down" " Slow down" Sara Laughed " We have been moving at a snails pace, and I need you to much to stop!"

Sara pulled his shirt over his head and ran her hands over his broad chest. His breathing became unsteady as he felt is erection growing. Her hands moved down his chest towards his belt. His pants felt two sizes to small. Sara slowly unbuckled his jeans and ran the zipper down to free his growing erection.

He couldn't stand it anymore, he flipped her over and so Sara was straddling him. Gil sat up towards her and slowly pulled her shirt over her head, revealing a black lacy bra. He moaned with desire and ran his hands over her breasts. He moved his hands to her back and unhooked her bra. Letting it slid slowly down her shoulders.

Sara watched as his blue eyes turned to a darker shade with desire, as he looked over her body and worshipped her. She had never felt so loved in her life. Suddenly his lips were on hers with more urgency this time. He undid her pants and helped her slide them off reveling a matching black thong. Once again he flipped her over so he was on top of her.

He worked his jeans down his legs, slipping his boxers off with them. Sara reached out for him, her mouth falling open with awe. She had imagined him naked so many times, she never expected him to be more beautiful in reality. She grabbed the length of his erection, loving the feel of his hardness. " Honey, I cant wait!" He said with urgency.

Sara quickly ran her thong down he legs and guided him into her body. She felt him pushing himself into her slowly until his full length was inside her. They both let out cries of passion at the same time.

He couldn't believe how great she felt! He started moving in and out of her faster and harder… Sara's continual moaning encouraging him. " Oh yes….Gil…yes, Love" she was almost screaming. Gil could fell that he was close to his release. " Sara im close so close!" he whispered in her ear.

That pushed her over the edge; Sara began to scream as the height of her orgasm hit. Suddenly he gave one final thrust into her and moaned out load as he finally reached his orgasm right after her.

" Oh Sara!!! I Love you so much"

" I Love you to"

He lay down beside her. They cuddled the rest of the night. Grissom had never felt so happy in all his life. He had just made love to the women of his dreams, and the crazy thing was that she loved him back!

He whispered endearments in her ear the next hour. Finally she fell asleep in his arms. He kissed her forehead once more, snuggled as close as he could to her and fell asleep!

Hope it was worth the wait! One more chapter after this one, don't forget to leave a review!


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